Sex, Lies and Infidelity: Why do people cheat?

In this segment of the sex, lies and infidelity saga, I’d like to share with you some highly controversial opinions of none other than yours truly. This article is months in the making so buckle up boys and girls because I’m about to hit you with some of my typical blunt musings.

It’s no secret, people do shitty things. It happens. Hell, I’ve done some shitty things. So have you. But cheating is something that I, personally, consider fascinating. Not in a ‘wow! this is so great’ way. But in a ‘why on earth do people do it?’ way. What is it about cheating that is so powerful that it can drive someone to destroy another persons life?

So….why do people cheat? For any of you that have ever been cheated on, I’m sure you’ve asked your partner why they did it. Often met with an “I don’t know! I fucked up!” But WHY?! Tell us why asshole. Spill your dirty motives.

After a little research and some thinking, there’s no one reason why people cheat. Generally, no, people that cheat repeatedly aren’t good people. But there are good people out there that have done bad things and that’s important to remember. This is a case by case basis people! So I thought I would rate our cheaters from best to worst (just for fun). I like to call it the dickhead scale, where 1 is a moderate dickhead and 10 is the absolute worst, the cream of the crop, the chucky to your doll collection, if you will.

Cheating for love

Understandable. I mean, still awful, but it’s something that we can wrap our heads around. It makes some kind of sense. Sure, you should absolutely break up with someone before it gets to this point but mistakes happen and some people are just big old cowards. I give these bad boys a 4 out of 10 on the dickhead scale if it happens once and then they break up with their partner. However, if it blows up into a full on, 3 year mistress kind of affair, you’re the big 10, sorry chucky.

Cheating for Revenge

Revenge. Ah…. isn’t it sweet. In the wise words of God, do to them as they have done to you. Yes, I have quoted that directly from the Bible. Revenge is a double edged sword though! As I have said many of times, Karma will take care of it. YOUR NAME ISN’T KARMA. Solid 6 out of 10 for these losers.

Cheating in a drunken entanglement

This is pretty bad. These people will use the ‘I was drunk, it meant nothing!’ excuse until all the bloody cows come home. They’re weak. Can’t say no to a bit of fun and apparently just forget that they have a significant other after a few sips of alcohol. It’s really quite silly. But are these guys our Chucky in the doll collection? Maybe Chucky’s sister, but not quite. Solid 8 out of 10 for these bastards.

Cheating out of boredom to get a thrill

I guess there is something about doing something wrong, something awful, that is irresistible to some people. Some people just have to have something totally thrilling in their life to feel remotely satisfied. There’s something to be said for temptation and something to be said for secrets. Life can get boring. So I guess, that can be a motivator for some twisted people. But to completely destroy someone’s life out of boredom sounds a bit sociopathic, does it not?! I mean, people do it, and it’s semi-accepted in society. But damn! Keep it in your pants people! Cheating out of boredom is probably the lowest form of cheating. I cannot wrap my head around it, as hard as I try. Just break up with your partner! These people will often say things like ‘I couldn’t help it!’ Because for these people, attraction plus the allure of a secret is the perfect recipe for infidelity. And I guarantee, these people are serial cheaters. After much research and personal bias, I’ve come to the conclusion that if someone cheats out of boredom and temptation, they are the lowest form of cheaters. Ladies and gentlemen, we have found our Chucky doll, I rate them at a solid 10 out of 10. Disgusting.

So, there you have it, I have officially rated our cheaters from best to worst. I’m sure there are many other reasons to cheat and I could write about this all day, so I will definitely be continuing the saga of sex, lies and infidelity. Let me know what you think! and always remember:

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